Peer Pressure Is Overrated

Asanga Agape
3 min readMay 23, 2022
Photo by Papaioannou Kostas on Unsplash

Does peer pressure really exist? Or is it an excuse for not taking responsibility for our actions?

You know how comfortable it is for us to put the blame on the government, the system, the economy, the weather, our parents, friends and family? That’s how peer pressure has become a means for us to blame other people for our wrong actions instead of taking the fall.

I don’t believe in peer pressure. I think it doesn’t exist. It’s overrated. It’s just a term individuals have come up with in order to make excuses for their misdeeds.

It’s so disappointing that we’ve given this thing called peer pressure so much power than we should. Many of the things we do and get involved in shouldn’t be blamed on peer pressure. The truth is that we actually wanted to do them and have a feel of them. That’s if we’ll be 100% sincere with ourselves.

No one can force you to do what you don’t want to do, except at gunpoint or in a dangerous situation. But other than that, all they can do is coerce, cajole, bully, threaten or convince you. It is either left for you to give in to any of their tactics or to walk out and stand up for what you believe in.

The decision lies within you. The decision to either please them and displease yourself or displease them and please yourself.

The decision to please them or give in to the pressure is as a result of an unhealthy self-image or self-worth. You do want to be noticed, feel accepted and wanted, and you’ll have to do what it takes to make sure you feel wanted.

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Why do you think there’s always a feeling of regret after engaging in the act? Have you asked yourself this question and sincerely answered it?

You can be different. You can be unique. You can stand out. Your decision to engage in certain acts should be your decision.

A lot of the things I did and got involved in was absolutely my decision. Deep down, I knew I wanted to, and I did. Those I didn’t want to experience, I knew nothing on earth would have made me experience them.

For example; I haven’t tasted alcohol. I’m not saying it’s bad and I’m not here to preach it. Anyways, I knew it wasn’t part of the experiences I wanted having, so I shut the door and I shut it well. Even when I had people around me urging me and giving me reasons to, I never gave in. If I wanted to, they wouldn’t have to go through so much stress to convince me. I would have easily given in.

Do you get the point?

A teenage girl’s decision to lose her virginity was her decision. Of course, she could have been coerced, but she could have said no. But the fear of being ridiculed, ignored and rejected, made her succumb. Or on the other hand, she actually wanted to have a taste of what it feels like.

Deep down, you actually wanted to engage in that act that’s why you gave in. You wanted to explore and have an experience. You weren’t forced, you weren’t pressured. So, can we leave peer pressure out of this?

No one is to be blamed for your actions or the consequences of your actions. At the end of the day, you have a choice, to either give into the dilemma of wanting to be accepted or to belong or to stand firm in your decision.



Asanga Agape

I write on God, my faith, personal development, self-discovery, self-improvement, etc. I also share lessons based on my life’s journey and experiences.