Finding You

Asanga Agape
4 min readAug 24, 2021


The secret to relevance and fulfilment

Photo credit: Quora

In a world where the average individual (both young and old) is saddled with the responsibility of getting a role model, where peer pressure seems to be the order of the day and the pressure of being liked and imitating others is the norm, finding you seems impossible.

Many individuals have been blessed with gifts that can change their lives, their families, their communities and the society at large but they are not aware of these gifts because they don't know that they possess such gifts.

But how will they know when they've not found themselves? Living and operating in ignorance is the worst thing that can happen to any individual.

Finding you, simply put, is self-discovery. But for the purpose of this article, I’ll be using finding you in place of self-discovery.

What does ‘finding you’ mean?

Finding you means coming to terms with who you are; your flaws, weaknesses, inadequacies, etc., and being at peace with the person you've found. And not just being at peace with your findings but also taking deliberate steps to effectively utilise what you found, and improving on them for the greater good.

Finding you is simply finding yourself. It means becoming more aware of who you are and accepting the results that come with the awareness.

Finding you is discovering and accepting your differences, gifts, talents, abilities and potentials. It is knowing that you are unique and you can't be like anyone else, and that you are created for a purpose.

Finding you is finding who you are; that is who God originally made you to be, not what situations, circumstances, your environment or the society has made you become.

Imagine being stuck at a level, tired and frustrated with everything happening with and around you. You go searching for answers in places that you think will move you to your next level but you find none, only to discover after a long time that all the answers you've been searching for all the years were inside of you. How painful that can be!

Your inability to find you is capable of keeping you at a spot for a long time without minding the energy, money and resources spent.

In finding you, you must:

  1. Make a decision
  2. Be intentional
  3. Be at peace with yourself
  4. Be conscious
  5. Be honest
  6. Be bold
  7. Forgive yourself
  8. Be free
  9. Be unapologetic
  10. Be committed
  11. Be disciplined

How do you find you?

There is no specific procedure to finding you but there are basic things you must do and steps you must take to find you.

To successfully find you, you must do the following:

  1. Come to terms with your reality
  2. Accept your flaws, inadequacies and weaknesses
  3. Be blunt with yourself
  4. Appreciate aloneness
  5. Be open to feedback and criticism
  6. Know that you can’t be perfect
  7. Ask yourself sincere questions and be wise enough to provide honest answers to the questions.

Benefits of finding you

Finding you has numerous benefits attached to it. From finding fulfilment and satisfaction, to being at peace with yourself, etc. The benefits can’t be exhausted. Below are some of the benefits that come with finding you.

  1. It helps you to know your why
  2. It helps you discover your purpose: why you were created.
  3. It creates a sense of meaning in your life.
  4. It helps you to figure out what you love to do, what you are good at and how to tailor your energy to these discoveries.
  5. It helps you to know the situations you should respond to and those you should ignore.
  6. It helps you to know the persons that really fit into your life: that is who to let into your circle and who to relate with from a distance.


Self-discovery is not a one off thing. It is a lifelong journey that you must embrace.

New you will keep emerging as you advance in age, attain certain levels and achieve certain goals, and it's your duty to keep 'finding you' in these stages of life.

How do you utilise something that you don't know? How do you get the best out of something or someone you don't know? Now you see the reason why you've not fully utilised your potentials or gotten the best out of you.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Finding you is a process, it takes time. But don't leave it to chance. Be deliberate about finding you. Come to terms with the fact that no one can, and will find you for you. It's a responsibility you must take up.

You owe it to yourself to find you.



Asanga Agape

I write on God, my faith, personal development, self-discovery, self-improvement, etc. I also share lessons based on my life’s journey and experiences.