Figuring Out What You Want In Life

What level are you at?

Asanga Agape
5 min readJul 4, 2022
Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

“Figuring out what you want in life is hard, having the courage to fulfil it is even harder!” Stephanie Kingsmore

I must tell you this, the journey to figuring out what you want in life isn’t an easy journey, the path isn’t straightforward and the process isn’t a smooth one. But the result? It will be worth every challenge and pressure.

You may venture into different areas in life before you finally figure out what you really want. You may even miss your way at some point and end up being frustrated. The interesting thing is that the failures, mistakes and lessons are there to build you up for your life’s purpose.

Level 1: You don’t know what you want

These sets of individuals go about living life as it comes. They accept and digest whatever is being dished out to them.

They make statements like — “I still don’t know what I want to be,” “I don’t know what I want out of life,” “I don’t know what makes me happy,” “I think I’m just going to accept what life brings my way,” etc.

Since they don’t know what they want, anything and everything seems amazing and perfect to them.

Their life is being controlled by people, systems, the weather, the economy, and the trends in society. They have no say in what they want out of life and how they want their life to turn out.

Every individual who is smashing their goals and living their dreams was once in this stage. So, it is okay if you don’t have life figured out; It is a stage where every individual must pass through.

But how long do you want to remain in this stage?

To be able to figure out what you want out of life, there are questions you must ask yourself and honestly provide answers to. Questions like;

i. What do you want?

ii. Are you happy?

iii. What is the picture of your dream life?

iv. What makes you happy?

v. What is your purpose in life?

vi. What do you want to be remembered for?

vii. Are you okay with your present state?

“The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want.” Arthur D. Hlavaty

You can’t figure out what you want in life if you don’t know what you want. In figuring out what you want, you must embark on the journey of self-discovery — discover who you are, what makes you unique, and what happiness and fulfilment means to you.

Level 2: You know what you want but you aren’t taking action

You have figured out what you want in life. What next?

It is one thing to figure out what you want in life, it is also another thing to take actions that will bring those dreams and ideas to fruition.

The experiences of these set of individuals are no less different from those who haven’t figured out what they want. Their experiences range from anger, dissatisfaction, unworthiness

There are many factors that could be responsible for this — lack of resources, fear, anxiety, waiting to see the big picture, waiting for a big break, lack of support, ill health, an unfavourable environment, and so on.

Those who have figured out what they want and are taking actions probably faced all of these and even more. The challenges are there to build you and equip you.

To successfully move from this level, you will have to answer these questions;

i. What is preventing you from taking action?

ii. Which do you prefer, remaining in the zone of inactivity and being frustrated or facing your fears and achieving your dreams?

iii. Are you comfortable where you are?

iv. What actions do you need to take?

What distinguishes successful individuals from the unsuccessful ones is ACTION not knowledge. It is not enough to know what you want, you must take a step further by acting on what you know.

Level 3: You know what you want and you are taking actions

Can you imagine the feeling that comes with setting a goal or having a dream and taking the desired steps towards achieving that goal or living that dream?

It’s a good feeling.

You should know that these sets of individuals at this level weren’t born perfect. They didn’t have everything figured out at once before they decided to take action.

They were faced with challenges just like others, but they had the mindset that life doesn’t and won’t favour the weak. So, they kept moving and pushing.

Successful people don’t wait until the condition is perfect before they take steps. It could be little steps, but as long as they are taking the necessary steps in the right direction, progress is being made.

What keeps them going is the big picture they’ve envisioned and

They step out with a resolve to smash all their goals no matter the difficulties they face.

If you’re in this stage, to constantly be in check, you need to ask yourself these questions and more;

i. Am I still on the right path?

ii. Are the results I’m getting worth my actions?

iii. Am I putting in enough?

iv. Do I need to put in more effort?

v. Are there things I need to change, adjust or review?

vi. How far have I come?

What do you want in life? Have you figured it out? If not, what are you doing to figure out what you want?

If yes, are you taking the necessary action needed to get you closer to achieving your dreams and goals?

Know that the journey to figuring out what you want in life is an endless journey and not a destination. This means that there’s no end to it. The more steps you take, the more puzzles to solve.

The higher you go, the greater the desire to do more and be more.

The only thing that can put an end to this journey is death. But before death comes (which is inevitable anyways), can you live and enjoy the life you’ve always wanted?



Asanga Agape

I write on God, my faith, personal development, self-discovery, self-improvement, etc. I also share lessons based on my life’s journey and experiences.