Don’t Get Used To Pain

Feel the pain. Go through it. But don’t stay there.

Asanga Agape
3 min readJun 23, 2022
Photo by Žygimantas Dukauskas on Unsplash

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” — Buddhist Proverb

You’ve gotten so used to pain that when you start experiencing pleasure, it seems very strange to you.

You’ve gotten so used to being bound that when freedom knocks at your door, you question it.

You’ve gotten accustomed to being used and exploited that when your value is being appreciated, you doubt every bit of it.

You’ve been talked down on for most part of your life that when you’re genuinely praised and commended, it sounds suspicious.

As a lady, you’ve been exploited a lot of times. So, when a genuine man sincerely showers you with love, you’re quickly sniffing to know what his ulterior motives are even when there are none.

As a guy, you’re not used to being respected, honoured or appreciated. These words and the actual act sounds so strange to you. So strange that when you come across a lady who showers you with all of these, you tend to question her motives.

You’ve been heartbroken a number of times to the extent that you believe you don’t have a heart again.

This isn’t a good place to be in. Of course, It’s not your fault. But you’ll lose out on lots of amazing things, opportunities, and relationships if you remain here.

You’ll have the mindset that people can’t actually love you for who you are really. You will unconsciously but gradually block your mind from attracting everything good. You’ll get so locked up in a dark room for a long time that you will come to accept the darkness as the norm.

Don’t let your past experiences keep you in a dark hole where the good doesn’t seem possible and the ugly becomes the norm.

“You can’t go through life allowing pain to dictate how you behave. It’s easy to sit here in your bedroom and wallow in your hurt feelings. It’s hard to rise above it.” — Adam Braverman, Parenthood

Good people still exist.

There are genuine opportunities out there for you to grab with no ulterior motives.

I understand that it’s difficult. But you’ll never experience peace, pleasure, freedom, etc., if you don’t let go and venture out.

What’s the worst that can happen? Being hurt and exploited again? That shouldn’t be strange to you. After all, you are a master at picking yourself back up.

In order not to get used to whatever pain you’re experiencing;

  1. Cry if you need to.
  2. Read a book on healing

2. Go into isolation if that will help.

3. Take a long walk.

4. Take a hot bath or a cold shower.

5. Practice the breathe in and breathe out procedure.

6. Go for therapy or counselling

7. Rant if that’ll help

8. Be selfish — prioritize yourself for once.

9. Share your story to those who are willing to listen.

10. Write a book based on the experience

Do all that you need to do to get healed. But don’t stay there. Don’t dwell in that zone for long. You can pull through. Keep rooting for you.

All that you need to take you farther in life can’t be gotten only from all the good and positive things that happen to you. There are lessons hidden in pain. And some of these lessons place you on a strong foundation and propels us to higher levels.

Don’t get used to pain…



Asanga Agape

I write on God, my faith, personal development, self-discovery, self-improvement, etc. I also share lessons based on my life’s journey and experiences.